Forgiveness

Today I am thinking of forgiveness.

I am thinking of the reading I did for a woman in VA yesterday. Of how her son, who had been murdered, came through and wanted her to tell everyone to forgive the murderer.
I am thinking of how my daddy's spirit came to me Sunday while I was holding one granddaughter in my lap and watching the other being baptized.
How he came and said just three words, "Please forgive me."
He never said anything of that sort in his life. I think now his spirit is healing. And how I answered him, "I'm trying."
Thinking of how I need to write an essay on forgiveness.
How when we don't forgive others, it eats away at our serenity; how it holds us back from truly enjoying life.

I also want to share a conversation that I had this morning with a good friend of mine on this very subject:

He: I know that for me I have to find peace with myself before I could ever think about forgiving someone.
Me: What do you mean you have to find peace with yourself before you could ever forgive someone?
He: Well, it’s a matter of forgiving myself first and then when I do forgive someone it’s done and over, not to be talked of again or used, like to throw it in someone's face during an argument or something of that nature. Forgiving is forgetting, just letting it go.
Me: But why do you have to forgive yourself first if someone hurts you or lies to you, etc. What is your part in it?
He: I know that may sound kinda weird but I am just that way in some cases. I realize that I may have done nothing wrong but it’s just me.
Me: Are you forgiving yourself for holding a grudge, for feeling anger, for having expectations?
He: Yes, maybe all of that, and then I try and think of the way they may feel and the fact that sometimes it’s hard to ask for forgiveness. And I try to understand that.

Smart friend, eh? Really makes me rethink forgiveness.