Rainy Tuesday

Remember that old song by the Moody Blues "Tuesday Afternoon"?
It keeps creeping into my mind today as I struggle to make sense of my life.
I remember how it used to be enough just to sit and listen to music and allow my mind to wander to old lovers, wonderful places and new ideas. Today, I need more.

I am a woman of words.. no doubt... but lately when speaking with a close friend my words seem to come out in a manner I didn't intend. They seem to come from a place of fear, indecision, regret.

I hate being vulnerable. I hate it.
I hate having to allow someone to see my weakness, my pain, my fears.

But I know this is where I am now and obviously where I need to be: melting into softness.

I close today's ramblings with the following quote from Rumi, a Sufi poet who lived hundreds of years ago and whose words still bring comfort to me today:

"Those who love words must use them to get to God.
Words flirt. They tease and imitate and come close, but they are not the experience they point to.
Silence, friendship, and perhaps music, live nearer the reality."