Sunday, June 27, 2010


Full moon .... of course the moon is always full, but we know that, don't we?

If you will look closely, you might see the imprint of my fingernails alongside the dark side of the full moon.
Yes, I've been hanging on lately by my fingernails. Hanging on the what I know to be constant: the moon, the sun, the stars - even though many of those I see in the summer night sky have burned out long ago with their light just now getting to my vision.

Life has been ... well, life has been life lately.
I've sold most of my belongings, cleaned out so much stuff that a feng shui master would blush, and now I am finally getting to the point of letting my house go.

I've learned so much about my emotional state during all of this:
how I tend to overlook the obvious and concentrate only on the so called "distraction" of a situation.
Yes, I am talking about relationships.

Funny how you hear something over and over and then one day, or one night, or one instant, it SINKS into your soul and you GET IT! You actually GET IT!

I'm too old to be repeating childhood patterns when it comes to relationships, but repeat childhood patterns I do.
But I have realized something very deeply: it doesn't have to go on the way it has been.
I do know there is no such thing as a perfect friendship, relationship, etc.
But I do also know (and now I know this to the bone) that there are always signs that we often choose to ignore.
For instance, if a "friend" is always talking about herself or himself, where does that leave you and your concerns?
Or, if a new person in your life shows the qualities of someone who has hurt you deeply before, GET THE HELL AWAY IMMEDIATELY!

Signs are signs and are always there. Now, I intend to read them for what they are.

1 comment:

  1. Amen, MariJo. A good reminder to all of us. The recovery work I'm doing has been integral in analyzing patterns from childhood (and from my dysfunctional upbringing) and stopping me from repeating them. It's hard work; blessings to those of us taking ourselves and others to task. Hoorah for loving detachment!