I feel like I am somehow making progress in my life.
I have scheduled a surgery that I have been putting off for a long time.
I have tried and failed to understand all that is going on in my life, and so now I am just letting go of the things I cannot change.
I have adjusted my diet to not include so much gluten and have finally accepted the fact that I am growing older and that life is to be enjoyed more than understood.
Things that used to mean so much no longer do, and more and more I am realizing that the more I try to understand how my gift of being a pyschic/medium works, the more I have to accept that it is all energy and not for me to know.
A gift - but oh such a responsibility. I have to keep reminding others that I am the vessel, not the source of the information.
I am seeing the outcome of all the spiritual work I have done with others this past year and a half - with readings and workshops and gatherings and I am so happy to have been a part of all of these.
Again, I am the vessel, not the source.
We have to all do our part... we have to all believe in ourselves...and believe that what we do in the world touches so many others...
Thank you to all of you who believe in spiritual ancestors, Spiritual guidance, and the freedom to believe as you choose.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday
So many thoughts running inside my mind this morning.
Up early to take litte Hercules (my fox terrier) for a walk in my litte sanctuary here in Candler. How much longer will I be here to do this, I wonder. Soon, this house and land will belong to someone else. I pray that this person, or persons, will understand how much love and care I have put into this house and acerage for the past nine years.
Will appreciate the deer, the red foxes, the wild turkeys, the crows, ravens, pilated woodpeckers, butterflies, hummingbirds, bats, etc., who have spent time with me here.
So much ceremony has gone into this land; so many wonderful spiritual workshops, readings, gatherings have happened here in this lovely house. And now, I am being asked to move forward.
Where? I don't know for sure yet and this causes a stir in my fear mode. I do trust but I am a woman who wants to know things - and as soon as I type this, I am reminded that timing is everything.
This past weekend has been a weekend of work: staining the deck, clearing out old papers, packing, learning to walk through an empty house. July 4 was also the birthday of my first son, Dustan Paul, who passed to Spirit at the age of 8 months. So long ago but still so fresh in my mind.
I am being told over and over to be grateful. And I am. Being grateful doesn't take away memories, but it does put me back into the moment.
Life goes on and so do I...trusting the unknown until timing reveals the next phase of my journey.
Up early to take litte Hercules (my fox terrier) for a walk in my litte sanctuary here in Candler. How much longer will I be here to do this, I wonder. Soon, this house and land will belong to someone else. I pray that this person, or persons, will understand how much love and care I have put into this house and acerage for the past nine years.
Will appreciate the deer, the red foxes, the wild turkeys, the crows, ravens, pilated woodpeckers, butterflies, hummingbirds, bats, etc., who have spent time with me here.
So much ceremony has gone into this land; so many wonderful spiritual workshops, readings, gatherings have happened here in this lovely house. And now, I am being asked to move forward.
Where? I don't know for sure yet and this causes a stir in my fear mode. I do trust but I am a woman who wants to know things - and as soon as I type this, I am reminded that timing is everything.
This past weekend has been a weekend of work: staining the deck, clearing out old papers, packing, learning to walk through an empty house. July 4 was also the birthday of my first son, Dustan Paul, who passed to Spirit at the age of 8 months. So long ago but still so fresh in my mind.
I am being told over and over to be grateful. And I am. Being grateful doesn't take away memories, but it does put me back into the moment.
Life goes on and so do I...trusting the unknown until timing reveals the next phase of my journey.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Hanging
Full moon .... of course the moon is always full, but we know that, don't we?
If you will look closely, you might see the imprint of my fingernails alongside the dark side of the full moon.
Yes, I've been hanging on lately by my fingernails. Hanging on the what I know to be constant: the moon, the sun, the stars - even though many of those I see in the summer night sky have burned out long ago with their light just now getting to my vision.
Life has been ... well, life has been life lately.
I've sold most of my belongings, cleaned out so much stuff that a feng shui master would blush, and now I am finally getting to the point of letting my house go.
I've learned so much about my emotional state during all of this:
how I tend to overlook the obvious and concentrate only on the so called "distraction" of a situation.
Yes, I am talking about relationships.
Funny how you hear something over and over and then one day, or one night, or one instant, it SINKS into your soul and you GET IT! You actually GET IT!
I'm too old to be repeating childhood patterns when it comes to relationships, but repeat childhood patterns I do.
But I have realized something very deeply: it doesn't have to go on the way it has been.
I do know there is no such thing as a perfect friendship, relationship, etc.
But I do also know (and now I know this to the bone) that there are always signs that we often choose to ignore.
For instance, if a "friend" is always talking about herself or himself, where does that leave you and your concerns?
Or, if a new person in your life shows the qualities of someone who has hurt you deeply before, GET THE HELL AWAY IMMEDIATELY!
Signs are signs and are always there. Now, I intend to read them for what they are.
If you will look closely, you might see the imprint of my fingernails alongside the dark side of the full moon.
Yes, I've been hanging on lately by my fingernails. Hanging on the what I know to be constant: the moon, the sun, the stars - even though many of those I see in the summer night sky have burned out long ago with their light just now getting to my vision.
Life has been ... well, life has been life lately.
I've sold most of my belongings, cleaned out so much stuff that a feng shui master would blush, and now I am finally getting to the point of letting my house go.
I've learned so much about my emotional state during all of this:
how I tend to overlook the obvious and concentrate only on the so called "distraction" of a situation.
Yes, I am talking about relationships.
Funny how you hear something over and over and then one day, or one night, or one instant, it SINKS into your soul and you GET IT! You actually GET IT!
I'm too old to be repeating childhood patterns when it comes to relationships, but repeat childhood patterns I do.
But I have realized something very deeply: it doesn't have to go on the way it has been.
I do know there is no such thing as a perfect friendship, relationship, etc.
But I do also know (and now I know this to the bone) that there are always signs that we often choose to ignore.
For instance, if a "friend" is always talking about herself or himself, where does that leave you and your concerns?
Or, if a new person in your life shows the qualities of someone who has hurt you deeply before, GET THE HELL AWAY IMMEDIATELY!
Signs are signs and are always there. Now, I intend to read them for what they are.
Friday, June 4, 2010
She Trembles (a prophecy)
SHE TREMBLES
She trembles and the trees growl.
Catacombed mystery-lined innards
daring machinery to bite at her memories.
You shall be punished for this!
She trembles and the oceans roll
with wet-tasting morsels sweetened
with thick oily poisons.
Leave her be!
You've marked her eyes
torn her flesh, ate her intentions
and streaked her thighs.
It's not only too late - it's too demanding.
Scattering her memories once honored
now disgraced by progress.
Milking her breasts with pumps of steel
smearing her face with hardening make-up
building mounting erecting her belly
with toys she will someday destroy.
You silly foolish ones
who desire to capture the future in signs.
There is no future for you
save retribution and in-kind contributions
from those you represent.
She trembles and we all fall down.
MariJo Moore ©1997
She trembles and the trees growl.
Catacombed mystery-lined innards
daring machinery to bite at her memories.
You shall be punished for this!
She trembles and the oceans roll
with wet-tasting morsels sweetened
with thick oily poisons.
Leave her be!
You've marked her eyes
torn her flesh, ate her intentions
and streaked her thighs.
It's not only too late - it's too demanding.
Scattering her memories once honored
now disgraced by progress.
Milking her breasts with pumps of steel
smearing her face with hardening make-up
building mounting erecting her belly
with toys she will someday destroy.
You silly foolish ones
who desire to capture the future in signs.
There is no future for you
save retribution and in-kind contributions
from those you represent.
She trembles and we all fall down.
MariJo Moore ©1997
Friday, May 28, 2010
From a poem by T. S. Eliot (East Coker)
I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing;
wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith and the love and the hope
are all in the waiting.
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing;
wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing;
there is yet faith and the love and the hope
are all in the waiting.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Letting Go and Acceptance
It's been a while since I put up a new posting, but I have known what I needed to write about for weeks now.
Letting Go: When I think I am letting go of a situation, I find myself trying to make deals with Spirit.
For example: I will let go of my house and put it on the market for sale if you will see that this happens first... that I get to decide who buys the house and land..... etc.
This is just my way of stalling - of not trusting. How can I let go of something that was never mine to begin with? I have only been the caretaker of this house and land as a gift from Spirit. Now, it is time to move on.
Acceptance: When I finally stop putting conditions on my "letting go" and realize that whatever is coming for me is exactly what I need to continue on my spiritual path; when I stop whining and pleading and trying to figure out WHY AND WHY NOW ..... when I finally realize that I am being taken care of on a daily basis and that all my needs are met on a daily basis, then I know true acceptance of a situation.
Funny, isn't it - how we try and try to control others, to manipulate situations, to trick Spirit into giving us what we think we want. When all along all we have to do is surrender to the knowledge that our lives are intertwined with others - that we are just a bit of a major plan - that everyone has to be in his or her place for exact timing to become reality - then we can know complete (albeit fleeting) acceptance of our lives.
Letting go is a constant struggle.
Acceptance is a process.
Letting Go: When I think I am letting go of a situation, I find myself trying to make deals with Spirit.
For example: I will let go of my house and put it on the market for sale if you will see that this happens first... that I get to decide who buys the house and land..... etc.
This is just my way of stalling - of not trusting. How can I let go of something that was never mine to begin with? I have only been the caretaker of this house and land as a gift from Spirit. Now, it is time to move on.
Acceptance: When I finally stop putting conditions on my "letting go" and realize that whatever is coming for me is exactly what I need to continue on my spiritual path; when I stop whining and pleading and trying to figure out WHY AND WHY NOW ..... when I finally realize that I am being taken care of on a daily basis and that all my needs are met on a daily basis, then I know true acceptance of a situation.
Funny, isn't it - how we try and try to control others, to manipulate situations, to trick Spirit into giving us what we think we want. When all along all we have to do is surrender to the knowledge that our lives are intertwined with others - that we are just a bit of a major plan - that everyone has to be in his or her place for exact timing to become reality - then we can know complete (albeit fleeting) acceptance of our lives.
Letting go is a constant struggle.
Acceptance is a process.
Monday, May 3, 2010
New poem
Tree Split By Lightning
Fire quietly speaking
telling tales, memories and dreams yet to come:
Dried blood, laughing owls
shadowed faces, softening rocks.
Simultaneous deaths radiating new lives all inside this tree.
Inside ashen colored mystical galleries of trees
this tree, this fortunate, very fortunate tree
emits reasoning to all the world…
MariJo Moore © May 2, 2010
Fire quietly speaking
telling tales, memories and dreams yet to come:
Dried blood, laughing owls
shadowed faces, softening rocks.
Simultaneous deaths radiating new lives all inside this tree.
Inside ashen colored mystical galleries of trees
this tree, this fortunate, very fortunate tree
emits reasoning to all the world…
MariJo Moore © May 2, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)